Who are you with

One of the concerns has been ever since I’ve been with this blog, what to publish and leave unpublished. I am thinking pretty much about self-censoring. Particularly in this situation, when I am exposing myself through my work online to the extent that I am not used to doing in my private life. You know, It took me a long time, while I was still in the middle of the creation, to be able to open my process to outsiders and show what I was doing. I had to learn it and over time I became better at it. I question this online format in the sense that, when I invite someone to the studio, I choose the person for whom I reveal something about my process. Maybe someone, I think, whose feedback I can benefit from, someone whose experience or insights might help me in what I am searching for, someone who can look at it in constructive way, someone who is familiar with artistic work or has experienced what it means to be in the creation process, someone who has the ability to view it as a non-finished product or maybe someone with whom I feel comfortable, to whom I can reveal my uncertainties and hesitations, or a friend I would like to catch up, or a person I want to get to know and I use it as an opportunity. Whoever I choose or even I wouldn’t choose, at least the meeting with that person is real, there’s instant exchange. But when I do it online I have no idea who’s there watching it, how they are watching or how they ended up particularly here on this page. It makes me actually very vulnerable. It raises the question of how I should share my process. How much I should distance myself from what I show. Would I unfold and reveal some unfinished and untidy material that may seem very personal and make me question whether I want to, should or shouldn’t do it. On the other hand I am genuinely curious about people’s artistic processes. I am intrigued to know how they approach their work, what are their questions, how they construct the work, what are their challenges, and how they deal with them. I am curious to see how the person works and elaborates in the process of creation. I fan to see the products on stage, where I have had a privilege to peep the process. This could really be a platform to exchange, learn and inspire each other. As well as, showing people who are not so familiar with artistic work processes the trajectory of the process, how work begins to take shape. But it needs courage and consideration and caution to leave a trace, a piece of you to the online world.

The question is, who am I now inviting to see my rehearsals?

 

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2 months ago

Hey Maria, I really like the way how you are thinking and also how you then create a certain atmosphere or image.There is a thin line between “boring”and “interesting” and I felt you are always exactly on that line so it was very interesting to watch so that there was always this curiosity to watch and see what is happening or HOW..Your posts/work are creating that kind of atmosphere that I feel calm…