author: Merle Gebauer

About Merle Gebauer

Merle Gebauer grew up in the south of Germany, where she fell in love with different movement styles and with performing on stage in dance and theatre. In 2017 she moved to Berlin to start her contemporary dance education at DANCEWORKS Berlin, where she graduated in 2020. Currently, she is studying at Berlin Dance Institute. Alongside her studies, she gained experiences as a dancer in various performances and also as a choreographer. In her work, she enjoys exploring the softness of the body and spine and drawing inspiration from stories and emotions, along with playing with the impact of music on her dancing.

beauty or suffocation?

do you know?

some things happen behind closed doors

hidden from everyone else to see

covert by a beautiful facade

and yet you blame

the forgotten one

the scared one

the lost one

who has no power

nor strength

you point your finger

you laugh

you close the door

let me go
let me fall
I am not scared of crashing
but scared of standing still
let me go
let me disappear
you don´t own me anymore
I am no longer your prisoner

hide & seek

sitting so silently
hearing my own heartbeat
pounding in my ear
scared to be seen
my senses are heightened
but nothing to see
nothing to hear
life just carried on
you just carried on
starting to panic
when did this game turn into a nightmare?
then numb
the adrenaline is gone
what if nobody ever finds me?

and then
I lost myself

worse than ever before
paralyzed by fear
destroying myself
broken pieces
shattered all over the cold floor
reflecting smiles and laughter
from a past self
it feels like a lifetime away
screaming that one question:

what happened to you?