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text:

sometimes I wonder

she waited a lot for me/ waited for me to get calm/ waited for me to return home/ waited for me to talk to her/ waited for me

you are in your own world, she said often/she must have wondered about this world while anxiously waiting (outside)

holding her hand/ she knew my hand before i did/every time i hold her hand now/ she doesn’t hold my hand back, she carries it/ she carries it with her/ to the nearby shop/ from the crowd of people/ into family gatherings/ and sometimes, towards the blue sky, through night and day

i am lying down on her lap, i wonder/ what the hell is going on? /her hand on my head, she wonders/ what am i  waiting for?

i remember running in my dreams, in school, from one room to another room/ i always want to run, i rang the doorbell she opened the door, and i rushed, i rushed through/ from outside to inside to invisible/ sometimes she couldn’t recognize me

we are far away from each other / we were apart longer than we were together/ i dream of her/ i need her/ she exhausts me/ she is constantly looking at me/ she believes in me/ it is getting tough to rely on laughter’s/ they only last for a moment/ we need much more to fill up the room when we are together/she only looks at me, longing and  waiting

Audio by:

Les Reines Prochaines: wicked games cover and Ragnar Kjartansson: the visitor (exhibition)