these numbers mean nothing until you find out that it’s the digital version of my face

where am i in this mess

am i supposed to embrace this as a part of myself

it started off innocently

i swear

number 1:

what if my father became an octopus and my brother  secretly wears a fabulous dress?

number 2:

is my friend exercising regularly at home? what if she is secretly jumping overly extended grand jetés while talking to me?

number 3:

what if my grandma became only legs with some weird purple greek guys running over them?

number 4:

what if when my friend’s screen is glitching he is actually being eaten by a huge colony of amoeba?

my first stage was somewhere between my living room, a scene from ‘Prince of Egypt’ and a full theater, fully realized only in my head and movement

i could only describe it as an extensive production of imagination, with characters constructed and intertwined by the logic of unconstricted creativity of a child

scenes vary from a gentle dance among the reed driven by something lost in the stream to a duet with a ninja turtle with Brahms’ melody accompanies the scenery

i long to feel like that now. absolute freedom of creation without boundaries of space and time and reason.

https://youtu.be/TJcoaIeH3GI

i invite you to play this while you fabricate the memory

With closed eyes I start.
I focus on the sensation of my movements.
They feel thick and slow today.
With every movement I leave a heavy almost slimy trance in the space.

They seem to be reaching.
Wanting to pull myself further into space.
Wanting to keep myself going.
While walking back I see the traces I left behind.

To start again.
This time, taking it higher up, it starts to feel lighter, more like a summer breeze.
Carried by this breeze I can connect to the space.
Adding to it whatever it needs.
I feel myself opening.

Then I close again.
Today is not the day. Today is snail day.

Eternal floating.
It captures my attention.
Keeps pulling me back.
It hypnotizes me.

Is there a difference between water and air?
I imagine myself floating in water.
I imagine myself floating in air.
I imagine water and air floating in me.

Improvisation 13th of March 2021